Sunday, March 22, 2009

What do you want? Do you know? And when you fine tune it a bit in your head or on paper ...Do you ever just ask for some simple clarity? I mean we all talk to ourselves...whether aloud or in our heads. But we all do it. I do it both ways! But lots of times I ask things without really being mindful of actually expecting an answer. I'm getting better at it. I tend to do better when it is something important and I am just getting to the end of my rope with knowing what to do.

Pretty much all of us were taught in order to get, be, or have something we have to DO something. Somewhat accurate. What I have learned over the last 7 yrs or more is that myself and lots of us tend to run around like a hamster on one of those wheels..."gotta be doing something, gotta be doing something" cause if I'm not doing 'something"- what I want will not be able to show up! Not correct. There's doing something and there's 'doing' something...(love that analogy). When you are asking questions...and by asking I mean asking your inner guidance or asking God, the 'Big Guy' upstairs, the Universe, Spirit...(whatever works for you) what the heck would be something I could do to help myself get to where I want to be. And then let go of it. Trust comes in here. And that is usually where most of us waver. We 'know' we should trust...we know pretty much that things can and do happen for us - but because we don't know how, or when exactly, we start doubting - thus starting the 'gotta be doing somethings' all over again.

What I have noticed for lots of times I get these ideas or inspirations of something that feels like 'fun' or kind of exciting because of the possibilities or I may read something or talk to someone who is doing something similar. (I love that!). And lots of times (hate to admit) I sit there and analyze it to death. My recent clarity on the subject is that I tend to worry about failing or looking stupid, or what would people think. etc etc. I've decided to do less of THAT and instead more of what feels good - that means letting mself get excited about something, letting myself TRY some of my inspired ideas and knowing that by my getting out of the way more (playing more when I just get so frustrated or worried) because that just keeps it all at arms length!

I'm 40 something years old. And you know...I'm really getting tired of being less than I believe I could be. I'm very appreciative of where I am..and how far I've come. And yet I know there's more out there and darn it..I want some too. No more giving a RATS ASS what may or may not go right...time to just enjoy the 'getting there' part of it all too!

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